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Writer's pictureHeme

Smile through the Process: What it Means to Enjoy the Journey

Updated: Aug 5

Originally written March 31, 2024


The spring of my freshman year of high school I signed up for track and field. I had no experience in the sport but thought it would be a good way to stay in shape for fall soccer, as well as an opportunity to try something new. It was also something I was “encouraged” to do by my parents, no doubt looking to keep me occupied and out of trouble. It was a fine experience, but one that I can’t really say I put my best effort into. Practices often consisted of me slacking off during the distance runs and putting in just enough effort to get by. My heart just wasn’t in it.

 

Towards the end of the season, my coach decided to enter me into the 1 mile at one of our competitions. I had no experience in this as I had only competed in the two-mile event (a punishment for my lack of effort during practice I’m sure). Since I had no prior experience in the one mile, and therefore no qualifying times to base my rank on, I was placed into one of the first heats, where they put the less speedy athletes. My only priority was to beat my immediate competition and win the heat.

 

About halfway through the race, it was clear I was going to win as I had a substantial lead over the other runners. Running alongside of me, my coach, in the most words he ever said to me, screamed, “This is for time! This is for time!”, encouraging me to keep pushing my hardest and ignore the other participants. Being the self-competing personality that I am, I pushed. I pushed myself as hard as I could, enduring the grueling pain I felt in my body with the goal of doing everything I could to get across the finish line as fast as I could. Coming around the turn on the third lap, I saw my mom, whose words of encouragement have stuck with me to this day. She said, “Smile Heme!”.


She didn’t say,


“You’re doing great!”


or


“Pick it up!”


or


“Way to Go!”.

 

 

She told me to smile.

 

Is she crazy? She does know that I am sprinting this mile as fast as my legs and my lungs will allow me, right? I found it so strange (and slightly aggravating) but I listened, and I smiled, and in that moment I was given a core lesson that stuck with me. I smiled, and everything changed. The pain was still there, the self-applied pressure was still there. But just the act of smiling brought an instantaneously lightness and an emotion that resembled joy to the immediate moment. I finished the race at 5’09”, said "hi" to my friend’s mom as she congratulated me, walked calmly to the bathroom, and proceeded to throw up.

 

I am sure at the time 15-year-old Heme did not comprehend the impact of this statement. Sure, I was happy with my result, but my adolescent self was more focused on where I would be going later that night than contemplating the profoundness of this philosophical statement. I would say it wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties did this concept float back into my mind and become a conscious driver in how I live my life.

 

The idea is simple. Whatever it is that you’re going through, be it an athletic event, a period of growth, a time of change or grief. Whatever feelings are presented such as physical pain, emotional anguish, anxiety, or doubt. Smile. It doesn’t have to be genuine, and it does not have to be pretty. But for a brief second, amid the difficulties, force yourself to smile. And in that moment, feel the lightness enter your awareness.

Allow yourself to be in the pain and know that it is okay.

 

It’s not about enjoying or avoiding the pain, but enjoying and embracing the process. Everything we encounter life, including the challenge immediately in front of you, is presented as an opportunity for growth. An opportunity to bring oneself into a deeper stage of enlightenment. An opportunity to discover one’s True Self more intimately. Peaceful times undoubtedly lie ahead, but peace itself can be welcomed into the present moment.

 

Think of some of the challenges that one faces, including:

·      Career uncertainties

·      Relationship issues

·      Dealing with personal attacks

·      Body image issues

·      Family turbulence and boundaries

·      Overwhelming responsibilities

·      Self-value and self-worth issues

 

None of these are enjoyable topics to experience, and they all come with some form of pain. Living with these issues can feel heavy and navigating these situations can have a tremendous impact on one’s life. While facing these challenges, it’s important to adopt a mindset that recognizes the result is not the driver, but rather the steps one chooses to take as they work towards a solution that will shape whether the outcome is positive or negative and determine how we'll perceive these moments in hindsight. For instance, when someone establishes a boundary with a family member who's overly demanding or intrusive, and that family member chooses to withdraw communication, the act of asserting oneself and setting that boundary leads to personal growth and enlightenment, even if surface outcome is losing contact with a loved one. If instead the driver was to maintain some form a relationship, the empowering act of setting a boundary might not be enacted, and one would miss out on an opportunity for growth.

 

Going one step further, the actions taken during these challenging times are impacted by one’s thoughts towards the process. If the mind is filled with dread and self-pity, it will not allow the light of creativity to come into consciousness to influence action. The spectrum of possible actions becomes limited and the low vibration of these emotions will pave the way forward. If instead, one embraces the challenge, even momentarily, their mindset, the possible outcomes and the situation itself all shift to work for the individual instead of against them.

 

This mentality has become my way life and the motto of my practice. Embrace the steep inclines that you face. Smile at the personal challenges that are presented to you. And when your legs are on fire, your mind is tired, and your heart is heavy with grief, do your best to smile and Enjoy the Journey.



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